It's Really All About Sex

[Archivist~Alabaster]

It's Really All About Sex
~written by Hwem~

“How many times are you going to bring this up? You always bring this up.” Hwem glared across the table at her dining companion as her hands fidgeted with her empty ale mug.

“I’ve had a crush on you since I first met you doing that job for the Booty Bay mob, the Bloodsail Pirates, or something like that.” Hondrik’s voice trembled slightly and his hand shook as he extended it to lay it on top of hers. “That was almost two years ago. Why won’t you let me in, why do you keep me at arms length?”

“Gods Hondrik, you’re my friend.” she said as she pulled her hand out from under his. “You are the most special person in my life, I share things with you that I don’t share with anyone else.”

“Yeah? Like the four break ups you’ve had since I’ve known you?” he asked with a hint of sarcasm as he withdrew his hand back across the table top.

“Well, more like six,” she almost apologized, “But those were tough times for me and I desperately needed a friend. You were there for me and I love that about you.”

“I was there for you? Who was there for me? I love you Hwem.” he pushed himself into the back of his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “There, I said it. I love you and I have always loved you. It pains me to see you romantically involved with other men, but I suck it up and hang in there anyway. Geez, the only reason you invited me to come to the Blue Recluse tonight is because Mr. Frufru, or whatever his name is, cancelled to go dueling with his buddies.”

“This isn’t about love, this is about sex. You want my body? Is that it?” she spat across the table indignantly, “You talk about things you know nothing about. Hell, I knew you would be available to come out with me because where else would you be … on a date? In all the time I have known you I have never seen you so much as talk to another woman.”

“Ok, ok, so women scare me,” he mumbled as he looked away from her, “But that’s why you are so special to me. I know you, I feel comfortable around you, I feel like I could rule Azeroth when I am around you. Is that so bad? Yes, I want your body, but I want all of you. Your body, your mind, you soul. I want to give you all of me too. I love you.”

“Sex is a weapon, sex is a lure.” She hissed, waving the empty ale mug at him, “I don’t mix sex with friendship. You want to screw up a perfectly good relationship? Mix in sex. Why is it so important that our relationship should get physical?”, she paused and her posture and her tone softened, “You have no idea how special, and how rare, your friendship is to me. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Oh don’t I feel special, I get the exalted honor of being your one true friend as you smooch Mr. Oh-what-big-biceps-I-have.” he shot back leaning forward in his seat and slapping his hands on the table. “What about your girl friends? Why don’t they listen to all your tragedies of love and life? What did I do to deserve all your whining?”

“Women are petty and can’t listen to each other without judgment and competition. But you wouldn’t know that, you’ve only ever met one.” she responded without flinching.

The two stared at each other for several moments, studying each others expressions.

“All you need to do to fix all your ills, is to go out there and get some.” Hwem said to break the silence. “That girl at the bar, with the cutlass and the blouse opened down to her navel is an easy mark. She’s half drunk already. Just go talk to her.”

“You just don’t get it,” he said standing up and emptying his belt pouch on the table spilling silver coins across the top. “That should cover the dinner. I gotta go.”

He took two steps toward the door and turned back to her and said. “No matter how many guys you attract, it won’t make you like yourself any better.” He turned and left the tavern.

Several minutes later an elf, with a blue beard cut close to his chin, stopped in front of Hwem’s table as he strode across the tavern. “You look like you need a friend? Why the long face?” he asked moving almost imperceptibly toward the empty chair at her table.

She looked up from staring into her empty mug and met his gaze.

“You can tell me about it, you know … over a drink?” he added with a cheerful smile.

In the blink of an eye her posture straightened and her face transformed from concern to cool indifference. “I’ll get the first round.” She said gesturing to the coins scattered across the table.

[Archivist~Alabaster]

The elf placed two mugs of lager on the table and sat in the empty chair without an invitation. “So tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Men, what else?” Hwem sighed, “No offense.”

“We can be difficult, but can you blame us? In the presence of such beauty, we lose our wits.” the elf explained.

Hwem tried unsuccessfully to hide her smile. “It seems that I am in the middle of an unwinnable situation. My dearest friend is in love with me, or at least he thinks he is. I don’t share his sentimentality and that angers him.”

“A relationship where only one is in love is a hardship for both parties. But you seem to be a strong woman, I am sure you will handle this so that no one gets hurt.” the elf said with a nod of self assurance.

“I have screwed up so many relationships with men. They all seem to sour over the same issue. Sex”, she leaned forward and folded her arms onto the table as she exhaled in exasperation. “Here I thought I had the ideal relationship. A guy I adore that shares my since of fun and no ‘sex’ stings attached. Now it turns out that I have managed to screw up this relationship too, over the same issue, even though we never so much as hold hands.”

“What a wonderful notion; a man and a woman sharing only their friendship, free from the complications of romance. He is a very lucky guy to be able to share that with such a lovely woman.” the elf mused.

“Does that really work?” she asked, sitting back in her chair and looking at the elf suspiciously. “Agreeing with everything I say and then following it up with a thinly veiled compliment?”

“You are very perceptive.” the elf went on, “Clearly you are an intelligent woman.”

“Yeah, ok. Well, why don’t go parrot somebody else for awhile, I’m fatiguing of this conversation.” she said pointing randomly in the direction of a crowd of people on the other side of the tavern.

“Oh my lady, I am sorry that I have offended you. You are correct, I have this insatiable habit of trying to please others. Please forgive me.” the elf continued without hesitation, “I should not have expected my simple parlor tricks to woo one as clever as yourself.”

“Just stop it, geez.” she huffed, “Now go.”

“My lady, the musicians are playing a pavan, please, dance this one pavan with me. I beg you. One pavan and then I will go. Look the others are having such fun with the music. Let us do the same.” the elf begged, “Just one pavan.”

“Oh alright, I do love a pavan.” she said, “But just one.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

The morning was perfect, but it felt ugly to Hondrik. He walked through the streets of Stormwind regretting everything he had said to Hwem the night before, but simultaneously he was making a mental list of everything he should have said to help her see their relationship his way.

“Hey Hondrik”, someone called out.

He turned to see Fruthor, Hwem’s most recent romantic involvement, standing in the street loading a wooden crate onto a wagon.

“You must have been miles away, you almost bumped right into me.” Fruthor said cheerfully, “I thank you for covering for me last night. When ever Hwem has to spend the evening alone I hear about it for weeks. I owe you one.”

“Ah, sure, whatever.” Hondrik said looking at the ground and shaking his head, as if he were trying to make sense of what Fruthor was talking about. After a moment he asked, “Why do you treat her that way? You don’t even respect her enough to keep a simple promise.”

“Oh, on, what happened this time?” Fruthor asked with a chuckle in his voice. “The only time I get this lecture is when you two have had a pissing contest over something.”

“You have no idea how lucky you are to have a woman like Hwem.” Hondrik continued, “She is enamored with you, but only the gods know why. You lie to her. You don’t respect her opinions. You talk to her as if she were a child.”

“We have a good time together, what can I say?” Fruthor stated matter-of-factly. “She isn’t complaining.”

“Not to you maybe. I hear about what a cur you are every time we get together.” Hondrik said, slightly louder than he had intended.

“Then I owe you another debt of gratitude.” Furthor smiled as he lifted the crate into the back of the wagon. “The more she unloads on you the less I have to listen to.”

“She’s too good for you, you’re like a troglodyte.” Hondrik spat.

Fruthor dropped the crate on the wagon and turned to face Hondrik, “I have tried to be civil in the face of your obvious distress.” he shot back, “But I will not stand here as you hurl insults at me.”

Before Hondrik could form a defense, Fruthor pushed forward with his verbal assault. “You know why I am completely unconcerned when she spends the evening with you? Huh? Because I know she is safe from temptation. Leaving her with you is like guarding a princess with eunuchs. Once the title of ‘friend’ has been stamped on a relationship with a woman, then all possibility of sex is gone. Give it up Hondrik, she will never sleep with you.”

“Sex is a game, and you cannot play it if you hold delusions of love.” Fruthor pressed, “You have already given away all of your assets, and now you are left begging for payment. If you try to backup now and withhold your friendship, she will only resent you. Do yourself a favor, go find someone new, start over. Hwem is a lost cause for you.”

“You know nothing about her.” Hondrik yelled, his face getting red “She is just a conquest to you. You can’t see beyond her physical beauty to see the wonderful person she is inside. You’ll be gone in a month and I’ll still be there for her. You’ll see. You are a user. Go use somebody else.”

After his tirade Hondrik stood panting for several moments, then in an almost whisper he said to Fruthor, “I would challenge you but I know that you would pound me into a pudding.”

“Don’t be so sure of that Hondrik.” Fruthor said, “I have seen you fight, and you are a remarkably skillful warrior, you only lack self-confidence. Improve your self-confidence and you will never want for female companionship again.”

Hondrik turned and pushed through the small group of people that had gathered in the street and left.

“What’s his problem?” a stout gnome asked, who was seated at the front of the wagon, writing a shipping manifest.

“He believes in love.” Fruthor said.

“Poor lad, may the gods have mercy upon him.” the gnome replied.

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Trina?” Hwem spoke softly, tapping lightly on the bedroom door, “Are you awake?”

“The door is open.” Trina responded from within.

Hwem opened the door and poked her head in to see Trina sitting cross-legged on her bed in her pajamas with a dress pattern laid out before her.

“Before I left I just wanted to say thank you for letting me crash on your floor.” Hwem said.

“I’m sorry that it was necessary, but you are welcome.” Trina said, “Are you feeling ok?”

“Why do I always attract the jerks?” Hwem asked with a laugh, as she pushed open the door and stepped into Trina’s room. “It’s as if I have a big sign over my head that says ‘Jerk Magnet’.”

“Your problem isn’t getting the attention of jerks. We all get approached by jerks. Your problem is that you don’t know how to say ‘no’ to them.” Trina scolded.

“So you’re suggesting that it’s my fault that he chose me as a target?” Hwem defended.

“I’m sure he chose many women as targets, you just happened to be the receptive one.” Trina pointed out, “Sure you objected, but guys know that determination and perseverance, tempered with compliments, will win them their desire more often than not. I swear that if I had a silver coin for every time you said ‘just one more dance, and then I have to go’ I would be up to my knees in gold.”

“After you two joined me and Yon at our table, I saw your pattern.” Trina continued, “Each time your elf friend placed his hands on you, you would object twice and then relent. There wasn’t much incentive for him not to keep going, and each time he got a bit more risqué. After a couple of hours he was practically humping you between dances. You weren’t even enjoying it, you looked like a scared rabbit.”

“I don’t know, it just seemed to happen so naturally, like it was no big deal.” Hwem defended, twirling her hair with one hand and fidgeting with the doorknob with the other. “Anytime I objected he made a funny joke or he would grab me in a playful way that made me feel like a kill-joy for being so uptight.”

“He was really nice, you have to admit, and a great dancer too.” Hwen added smiling at the other woman.

“Of course he was nice, he is a skilled predator.” Trina said, “Judging from the look in your eyes I would say that you knew that too. What I don’t understand is why you kept giving in to his assault.”

“I don’t know, it just seems that if someone takes the time to notice me, that I somehow owe them.” Hwem answered as she looked away from Trina. “After all, why would anybody just want me for me?”

“The friend you told me about last night. You told me he was in love with you. Wouldn’t he be more deserving if that were the criteria for getting your affections?” Trina asked.

“Hondrik? He’s just Hondrik. What can say? I just don’t feel ‘that way’ about him.” Hwem explained. “He’s just a friend.”

“I don’t know what you are calling ‘that way’ but I think what you need is a friend, not the artificial attention of every guy that wants to get inside your robes.” Trina said stepping off the bed to open the curtains.

“What about you and Yon, you two didn’t seem very cozy.” Hwem replied trying to head off where she was sure Trina was going. “Isn’t he just a friend that you keep dangling on the hope of sleeping with you.?”

“Yon is my dance partner. Every Friday we go to the Recluse because they have the best musicians. We usually dance until the sun comes up, then Yon goes home to his boy friend.” Trina explained as she opened the curtains “You see, I have nothing to dangle.”

“You’re a f@g hag.” Hwem said with a smirk. “Judging from the sun I would say it is almost noon, would you like to go get some lunch? My treat.”

“Thanks for the offer but I really must get to work on this dress, I had no idea it was this late.” Trina answered.

“Ok, I can see myself out.” Hwem said, “And thanks again for rescuing me last night.”

“No problem, when I found you two on the porch with your bloomers practically around your ankles, I had to do something.” Trina laughed, “The look he gave me when I said we had to leave could have slain Thrall.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“So who was that guy yelling at you back there?” the gnome asked as he steered the wagon team through the arch at Stormwind onto the road to Goldshire.

“Friend of a friend.” Fruthor replied nonchalantly as he scanned the scenery from his seat in the front of the wagon.

“Seems to me, from the bits of discussion that I heard, that this mutual friend is more than a friend to both of you.” the gnome said with a raised eyebrow.

“I suppose she is more than just a friend.” Fruthor explained, “I’m giving ‘it’ to her and he wishes he was giving ‘it’ to her.”

The gnome chuckled, “That guy was right, you are a troglodyte.”

Fruthor turned to the gnome and grinned, “I know what I like and I know how to go get it. I make no excuses.”

“I must admit Fruthor, when it comes to attracting the fairer sex you are definitely gifted.” the gnome mused, tugging lightly on the reins to steer the two horses around a large stone in the road. “I can see that you are a good looking man, even though I’m the wrong gender and I’m not even your species.”

“Gifted has nothing to do with it Grineal.” Fruthor said, still looking at the gnome, “I have heard so many guys lament their misfortune that they cannot attract women because they are not handsome enough, not tall enough, not rich enough, or that they are bald, or have a big nose, or a speech impediment. All of that is tauren crap. It matters none at all. I’m not gifted, I just have a plan that works. Like laying siege to a fortress, you have to have a plan or your conquest is doomed.”

The gnome laughed, “Here I though we were discussing romance, but we’re really talking military strategy. So General Fruthor, tell me how one conquers women.”

“Simple”, Fruthor said, “First you have to know what they want, then you have to convince them that you have it, and finally you set your price. The negotiations are bit more subtle than that, but you get the idea.”

“I would think that the hard part is knowing what they want.” the gnome said, looking skeptically at Fruthor.

“No, that’s easy. Everybody despises themselves deep down, men and women. We all want approval. We all want to be told that we are ‘ok’.” Fruthor explained, “When I see a woman I desire, I convince myself that I am better than her. She is refuse and I will charitably offer my approval and she will appreciate it to the extent that she offers herself to me.”

“Think back to the time when you first joined the military.” Fruthor suggested to the gnome, “If one of the other idiots that joined with you complimented you on your swordsmanship it was practically meaningless, however, if the training sergeant gave you a compliment, it made you feel so good that you were in utopia for the rest of the day. Well, my technique does just that. I am better than women. They feel good when they get my attention because I am their superior. It even has the extra advantage of allowing me to treat them like dirt, or even ignore them. The worse I treat them, the more it reaffirms that I am better than they are.”

“I think I see a flaw in your plan, Fruthor.” the gnome said, “Any relationship based on lies and deceit is doomed once the truth is exposed. Surely you cannot keep up this charade for very long.”

“I usually keep it going for a couple of months, but by then I am tired of them anyway. There are far too many of them out there to stay too long with any one of them.” Fruthor said with a smug grin.

“A couple of months? That’s not enough time to even begin to get to know a woman.” The gnome said looking a bit puzzled. “You’re missing the best part. Women are beautiful to look at, but when you really get to know them, that’s when their beauty takes your breath away.”

“Pfffst,” Fruthor made a rude sound with his lips, “The mind inside of a woman’s body is an inconvenience. If I could get the one without the other life would be much sweeter.”

“ok, I take back what I said about troglodytes,” the gnome laughed looking over at Fruthor, “They don’t deserve the slander. I’m glad this trip is short, I wouldn’t want too many people seeing me in your company.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Hey Yon.” Hwem waved at a man seated at a small table on the sidewalk just outside a sandwich shop. “Long time, no see.”

“Hi” he waved back, searching his mind to remember her name. “Its been what? Almost eight hours.” he laughed, “I take it that you and Trina made it home safely?”

“Isn’t it a bit early to start drinking?” Hwem asked looking at the tankard in the Yon’s hand.

“Arrgh, habits from me ole’ Navy days.” Yon went on in a fake pirate’s accent. “Actually its just water. Would you care to join me? I would dearly love the company.”

“Trina tells me that you two go dancing every Friday.” Hwem said as she arranged herself in the chair across the table from Yon.

“For almost two years now.” Yon explained, “Its hard to find good dancing partners, and Trina is the best. Seems that everyone these days only wants to go to the taverns to drink and act silly. We were very fortunate to find each other. We met in the Blue Recluse one evening and have been dancing together ever since.”

“Wish my meeting had had such a fairy tale ending.” Hwem lamented.

“He was a really fine dancer, too bad he turned out to be such a jacka$$.” Yon chuckled.

“I envy you and Trina, you two seem so comfortable with each other.” Hwen said. “You would be the perfect couple if you weren’t … well, you know …”

“Gay?” Yon finished her thought, “You can say it, its not a curse. So Trina told you. I can’t imagine how my life style made it into your conversation. Is that what women talk about when they go to the restroom together?”

“That and everything else. Azeroth is run from women’s restrooms, you know.” Hwem said with a grin. “It must be easier being with another guy. I mean, being the same gender must make it a whole lot simpler to understand the other person.”

"If its any consolation, my relationships with other men have just as many pitfalls as any other relationship." Yon explained, “Relationship problems are between individuals not between genders.”

“What about you and Trina?” Hwem asked, “You two were having so much fun last night it seemed as if there could never be any bad feelings between you.”

“Believe me, there are many times I would like to pack her up and ship her to Orgrimmar, but we are friends so we work things out.” Yon said between bites of his sandwich, “Why are you envying my relationship with Trina, don’t you have the same thing with that guy you were going on about last night, what’s his name?”

“Hondrik.” Hwem almost mumbled looking down at her hands, “I think that’s over. He wants to get romantically involved with me, and I just can’t do that with my friends. He gets angry at me more often these days too, as if I have somehow caused this big affront to him. He thinks that because we have been together for so long that it means we should be moving toward something more serious. I mean, its our decision to make, not his. Why doesn’t he respect my wishes to not go there?”

“Why does friendship have to be exclusive of romance?” Yon asked, “The way you went on and on about him last night tells me that you care more for him then you admit. Even your unflappable stalker …er dance partner… was getting a little annoyed at your ‘Hondrik this, Hondrik that’.”

“I’m a sl*t, that’s why I have to keep my friends out.” Hwen looked up at Yon, her eyes glistening with tears that had not yet fallen, “I hate the men who use my body but I let them have it because they want it. I am addicted to the attention that men give me, and my concession to them is to let them have what they desire.” she paused for a moment to wipe the tears that had started to move down her cheeks, “ I really do love Hondrik. He is the only person who seems to genuinely like me for who I am. My day, my mood, my whole attitude improves when I know that he is coming to visit. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want him to turn into the abusive bast@rd that is his gender. I don’t want to hate him for touching me. I don’t want him to see me the way every other man sees me.”

Yon reached across the table and held Hwem’s hand. Her body trembled as she tried unsuccessfully to suppress her tears. After several minutes Yon asked, “You joined me for lunch, may I get you a sandwich?”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“You tell me why she’s a b!tcha and I’ll tell why he’s a b@stard.” a dwarven woman said as she approached Hondrik.

“Huh?” Hondrik looked up from watching the water condense on the side of his ale mug.

“Its the middle of the afternoon and you’re alone in a tavern, coveting a mug of booze.” She pointed out, “Its obvious that there is a problem with a woman.”

“Not with a woman, with love.” Hondrik said, “I don’t understand how two people are supposed to find love when they can’t even agree on what love is.”

“These bar stools are too tall, would you like to join me at a table?” the dwarf asked as she turned and walked toward a table in the middle of the empty tavern.

“I, Uhhh …. have to go. I promised a friend to help him this afternoon.” Hondrik said.

“I’m sure your friend is desperate for a drunken, sentimental fool to come help him muck out his horse stall.” she said sitting at the table and patting the chair next to her, “You’d be much more useful keeping me company.”

“Are all dwarven women this forward?” Hondrik asked, carrying his mug to the table.

“The summers of Dun Morogh are short.” she explained, “A gals got to work fast to get a beard to snuggle up against and keep her warm through the harsh winters.”

“You want something from the bar keep?” Hondrik offered.

“Yes, what ever you are having is fine.” she accepted, “Partners don’t need to agree on what love is so long as each is enjoying their own interpretation.”

‘I don’t know what its like where you come from, “Hondrik sighed, “but here, you are left looking for love, or a reasonable facsimile, in taverns or large organized parties. The theory is that if you get enough people together in one place then surely your soul mate will be amongst them. In reality, however, we’re just a bunch of desperate rodents scurrying about on the sinking ship of loneliness hoping we can find someone so we don’t go down alone.”

“When dwarves go looking for mates we choose an opportunity where we can evaluate the object of our desire in a context that is relevant to life.” she explained, “I prefer to go hunting, then I can witness his patience, determination, and skill.”

“Your whole attraction ritual is flawed.” she continued, “It would never occur to me to look for a husband in a tavern. Drunken lout is not a quality that I value in a mate.”

“Its actually worse than that.” Hondrik lamented, “Attracting women is a specific skill for men. It has no value in any other aspect of life. Women fall for a guy that can approach them with a charming confidence that can only come from many nights of practice and ….”

“Let me guess.” the dwarf interrupted, “Then the girls complain when the guy ‘fools around’ on them. They thought that all those years of practice were leading up to them.”

“You read my mind.” He smiled at her, “Obviously, I’m not one of those guys, or I wouldn’t be complaining about the system, I would be out there taking advantage of it. I lose my tongue in the presence of beautiful women.”

“You don’t find me attractive?” she questioned with mock offense, “You seem to be spending your words freely on me.”

Hondrik laughed, “I find you very attractive. Had you not approached me, we would not be having this conversation. I would have written you off as just another unobtainable beauty that was beyond my ability to attract.”

“You’re a very handsome man, for a human, although you could do with a few more whiskers.” She looked him up and down, “You just need a few more girls to tell you that.”

“Some day we’ll go hunting.” Hondrik laughed, lifing his mug to her.

The dwarf returned the gesture and said, “I could ask the tavern master to rent me room with a rat’s nest that he claims is a bed, or perhaps you could recommend a more comfortable place where I could relax.”

When the tavern master returned from the cellar he noticed that his only two afternoon customers were gone. They had left more than enough coin to cover the price of the two tankards of ale that they had left almost untouched.

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“I know you’re busy Trina, but could I have just a little bit of your time.” Hwem almost begged, “I really need to talk to someone, really.”

“Can’t this wait Hwem?” Trina pleaded through her half opened front door, “I’m kind of busy, could we ….” She stopped in mid-sentence and her face broke into a smile. “Dear, you are perfect, come in, come in.”

“I need you to help me with this gown, we’ll talk as I work.” Trina said as she ushered Hwem inside and closed the door.

“May I look at you for a moment?” Trina asked, her eyes already wondering over Hwem’s body.

“Ah, sure.” Hwem responded, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Lift your arms and look straight ahead, let the rest of your body relax.” Trina instructed, continuing to examine Hwem. “Your shoulders and hips are a prefect match, you’re a bit small in the bust and your legs are a bit long. Could you go into the bedroom and put on the gown that is lying on my bed?”

“You made this?” Hwem asked with a tone of admiration from the bedroom as she held up the gown to admire it.

Trina watched through the open bedroom door as Hwem stepped out of her dress and lifted the gown over her head. “No, no, it has an open back,.” Trina informed Hwem, “Could you remove your shift? I want to see it contrasted against your skin.”

“Ok” Hwem replied eyeing the open door and slowly turning so that her back was toward Trina.

“Darn, I already see problems.” Trina commented as Hwem dropped the gown over her body. “Come over here and stand on this stool.”

“I have this customer, she is very demanding and gives me short deadlines.” Trina spoke through several pins held between her lips as she adjusted the hem of the gown. “She is too busy to let me fit her, she demands that I make dresses and such from just measurements. However, she pays well and she encourages me to use my imagination.”

“Turn toward the window dear.” Trina motioned as she stepped back to look, “I can’t see your hips, I’ll have to tighten the rear seam.”

“So what’s bothering you?” Trina asked as she pinned the fabric in the back to contour it around Hwem’s waist.

“I’m sure you’ll think that I am silly making a big deal out of nothing.” Hwem said, enjoying the feel of the burgundy silk as Trina tugged and smoothed it against her skin. “I’m going to accept Hondrik as a lover.”

“Hondrik? This is the friend that is all upset with you?” Trina asked, examining the fabric at the small of Hwem’s back one last time before turning her attention to the sleeves. “I though you were afraid of ruining the friendship you already had.”

“I think its already done for, this is just my last ditch effort to save our relationship.” Hwem sighed as Trina pinned the sleeves to fit snug at the elbows, allowing them to flare out to the wrists with large lace cuffs that hung to the middle of the fingers. “Besides, I’ve always chosen men that I knew were bad for me, so its about time I chose a guy whom I know is loving, kind, and responsible.”

“Yeah, but don’t you love those rogue types. They exude a sense of danger. They’re exciting.” Trina smiled as she examined the sleeves and shoulders of the gown.

“I used to think of my boyfriend, Fruthor, that way.” Hwem said moving her arms and posing as Trina instructed. “But you know, for all his bravado, charm, and machismo, he really isn’t very good … you know … in bed.”

“They seldom are hun.” Trina commented as she handed Hwem some fabric scraps she had wadded up. “Stuff those if you would, you need a bit more bosom to simulate her ladyship.”

“They never are.” Hwem added, arranging the fabric inside the gown to enhance her figure. “I have never experienced ‘it’ with a guy. They make big promises with all their implied virility, but when we actually get down to business, they are just there to please themselves. I’m just a vessel that they fill up … in about 10 minutes.”

“Oh poor girl.” Trina giggled, as she pinned and tugged the fabric to arrange Hwem’s bosom to get the right amount of lift and squeeze. “Have you never felt an orgasm?”

“Yeah, sure I have, just not with another person.” Hwem said with a smile, “Let me tell you about my first one. I was in Redridge with a bunch of friends. Have you ever been to the hot springs there? Its close to Searing Gorge so they have some really active hot springs in the mountains. We got the idea that we would go skinning dipping in one. It was really nice. We all got naked and just sat in the hot water relaxing and talking. Well, there was this jet of warm water shooting out of the rocks and it was hitting me there … you know… right there. I don’t think anybody else noticed, they may have though I was drunk or something, but I stopped talking and just sat there smiling. I was miles away, above the clouds.”

“The moments we treasure.” Trina said as she stepped back to look at Hwem, “Oh my goodness, I had no idea this gown would look this lovely. Lets go to the mirror, you have to see this.”

The two women looked in the mirror for several minutes as Hwem turned this way and that. Even with the assorted pins arranged in the fabric, the gown flowed and twisted, directing the light to accentuate select curves and forms.

Trina pointed into the mirror, “Now that is the reason that men go to war, or invent fire, or build a cathedral. That is the stuff of art and music.”

“Oh Trina, I am beautiful.” Hwem remarked, “You are a master. This gown is woven with magic.”

“I’ll admit that the gown is better than I expected.” Trina beamed, “But you Hwem are beautiful, and you don’t need that gown or any guy to make that true, you just need to believe it.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Fruthor?” Hwem exclaimed as she opened the door to see him standing there.

“Wow, you look great, what’s the occasion?” Fruthor commented as he put his arms around her waist and leaned his head downward to kiss her.

“Why are you back?” she asked as she pulled her head back and turned it slightly to avoid his approaching lips.

Kissing her cheek Fruthor explained, “They changed their minds and asked us to just drop the shipment at the garrison tower instead of taking it all the way to Sentinel Hill. So tonight’s your lucky night.”

“I’m sort of expecting someone, tonight isn’t all that great.” Hwem said, “Perhaps we could talk tomorrow?”

“Oh look at this, a candle on the table … and scented. You knew I was coming, didn’t you?” Fruthor observed as he pushed passed her into her small home.

“Really Fruthor, this isn’t a good time.” Hwem almost pleaded as she turned to follow him inside.

“You really look good. You’re all dolled up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that shirt before.” Fruthor said with a slight accusation in his voice as he reached over her shoulder and swung the door shut with enough force that Hwem jumped when it slammed shut.

“Can’t we … can’t we discuss this tomorrow?” Hwem stammered, as she took a step backward.

“Discuss what?” Fruthor asked as he turned and moved to sit on the small sofa in the middle of the room.

“My blouse, for starters.” she said, still standing near the door, her voice and posture recovering their composure, “Of course you don’t remember it, you don’t remember anything about me. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Haha,” Fruthor forced a mirthless laugh, “So that’s what this is all about, you and your little friend are having another argument. Go ahead, give me the full lecture. I’m a big boy. I can take it.”

“I’m a thing to you, aren’t I?” Hwem spat as she moved into the room, out of the protection of the corner beside the door. “You don’t hear what I say. You don’t care what I like. Where is my favorite place, that’s an easy one, I talk about it all the time … where?”

“My bedroom?” he chuckled.

“This isn’t working, our relationship is sick. Please, can we talk about this tomorrow.” Hwem implored him as she opened the door. “I just need you to go, please.”

Fruthor strode across the room and shoved the door shut so that the handled was pulled from Hwem’s grip. Grabbing her wrist he offered, “Lets go to the bedroom shall we, lets discuss this there. You just aren’t seeing things clearly.”

“Ouch, ouch, Fruthor, you’re hurting me.” Hwem begged as he pulled her by the wrist toward the bedroom door. Her other hand reached for the small table, pulling it over so that the candle went out as the glass chimney surrounding it shattered on the floor.

“Let go of the table.” he shouted as he drove his fist into her stomach, knocking the wind out of her and driving her to her knees.

“Please, please don’t do this.” she sobbed between gasps for breath.

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Your peasant dress was a lie.” Hondrik commented as he reclined naked on his coverless bed, his arms raised so that his head rested in the palms of his hands, “This outfit suits the animal that lives inside you.”

“Rawrrrr,” the dwarven woman smiled as she looked up from pulling on a worn pair of flat black boots. “This animal would like to stay and devour you alive, but she has an appointment with a client at sundown, and she is never late.”

“So what exactly is it that you do?” he asked, “That leather armor makes you look ferocious.”

“No, no, no,” she wagged a finger at him in mock offense, “I never mix business with pleasure.”

“I hope that I satisfied the pleasure part well enough.” Hondrik said as he got up to sit cross-legged on the bed next to where she was dressing.

“More than enough.” she smiled, “You have a gift for listening to your partner, that is rare. Your lady love doesn’t know what she is missing. Perhaps you should introduce her to the lessons you’ve learned.”

“I’ll skip the part with the kitchen spoon.” Hondrik laughed.

“I’ve had male friends in the past. They are treasure for any woman to cherish. She is very fortunate to have you there for her, but I understand how sex gets in the way.” she looked into Hondrik’s eyes and smiled, “She may someday know what took me years to learn, that romance is even better when you already have a deep friendship. Friendship weathers storms much better than passion.”

“I’ve lost hope that our relationship will ever evolve to that, I suppose I will just carry on being her friend.” he said, raising his hand to touch her cheek, “You are so beautiful, what did I do that the gods favored me with this afternoon? May I see you again? Later tonight?”

“Not tonight.” she said as she stood up and lifted her small pack of belongings off the floor. “In three days I will be in Kharanos, ask the owner of the tavern there, he’ll know where I am. Just ask for Nin.”

“Nin at the Inn.” Hondrik repeated a couple of times, “What if I can’t be there, is there another time that I might find you.”

“Nope. That’s your one shot. In three days you ask yourself what’s important.” She leaned over and playfully bit Hondrik on the end of his nose. “I for one hope that you are there, but that is for you to decide.”

“When I get there will I have to stand in line?” he joked.

“Would that be a problem?” she asked.

“Knowing that you’re at the other end would make the wait it’s own kind of bliss.” he smiled as he stood and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“You say all the right things.” Nin raised herself on her toes and closed her eyes. Her lips slightly parted, she waited.

Hondrik lowered his mouth to hers and they held the passionate embrace for several minutes.

“The gods didn’t grant you this afternoon, you just didn’t allow an opportunity to pass.” she said as she shouldered her pack and walked to the door.

Hondrik opened the door and hid his nakedness behind it as she stepped out into the fading light of dusk. As she walked down the street, she turned once and smiled.

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“What are you doing here?” the gnome asked, looking up from a crate of iron ingots as Fruthor walked into the Blacksmith shop, “I thought you were going to … how did you put it? … ‘wet your wick, and then find a card game’.”

“Women,” Fruthor huffed, “can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”

“That’s original.” the gnome said, writing a number on the parchment next to him, “Did you decide that helping me with inventory was more fun than a night of carousing and gambling?”

“They all want it you know.” Fruthor said in a matter-of-fact tone, as he lifted a hammer off of an anvil and placed it on the tool shelf. “They pretend they don’t. That’s just their game. Pretend that they are doing us a favor and then we are left begging for it.”

“I guess you would know, you seem to understand the dating scene better than I ever will.” commented the gnome, sounding slighty annoyed with the interruption.

“Its all about control, you know that don’t you?” Fruthor went on, his voice getting slightly louder as he randomly wandered about the shop, arranging tools and sorting through scrap iron, “Well I won’t have it, I won’t. Nobody’s going to pull my stings and tell me to dance.”

“What in the Nine Hells are you talking about?” the gnome asked, putting his quill back into the ink pot.

“We were like animals.” Fruthor said in hushed tone, turning toward the gnome and grinning as if he was sharing a secret. “I took her. I took her the way I wanted to take her. I was in control and she was mine to have.”

“I don’t like the sound of this, what did you do? Who are we talking about here?” the gnome stood up from where he was kneeling beside the crate.

“Let’s go get a drink Grineal.” Fruthor offered, his voice suddenly taking on an artificial joviality. “Let’s get a drink and pick up some girls. You’re like a goblin … money and business, money and business. You need to have a bit of fun. Let’s go get a drink.”

“Who is this woman you’re talking about? Where did you go earlier?” the gnome pushed not letting Fruthor change the subject. “Whatever you did doesn’t sound consensual.”

“They all say ‘no’, its just part of the game. It makes the courtship more intense, the fruit more forbidden.” Fruthor explained, “Besides, its not like she was a virgin.”

“Whoa, stop right there.” the gnome insisted, “I’m not even going to entertain your reptilian interpretation of the word ‘no’, but ‘virgin’ has noting to do with anything. Because a woman has enjoyed the company of a man does not make her public property. Now what did you do?”

“You know, all I wanted to do was come here and talk to my friend, and now all I’m getting is attitude.” Fruthor accused the gnome, “I have to go, see ya later.”

“R@pe is serious stuff Fruthor, you two will relive this night for rest of your lives.” the gnome’s tone was dead serious, “You need to make amends now. Where is this woman? I will come with you, but we need to go now.”

“The situation is under control, I don’t you need you meddling in it.” Fruthor almost shouted.

“Then why did you come to me? You thought I was going to give you high-fives and congratulate you on a job well done?” the gnome pressed, “You need help. You need advice. You need a friend. Now lets go to her. Tell her that you know that you were wrong. Apologize. Treat her with the dignity that is owed to her.”

“This is bull sh!t, I thought you were my friend. I gotta go.” Fruthor turned and stormed out of the shop, but not before he picked up an iron bar and threw into the forger hood with a loud crash.

“Fruthor, Fruthor come back.” The gnome ran after him in desperation, “Please tell me who she is. I will go in your stead. Where can I find her? Fruthorrrrrr.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Did you run out of lamp oil?” Hondrik joked as Hwem opened the door. “Your house is dark. I though that perhaps you weren’t home.”

“You want some tea? I was just about to make some tea.” Hwem offered, not looking up at his face.

“Sure,” he accepted, “Have you been house cleaning? You only wear that old dress when you do chores.”

“There’s broken glass on the floor.” she pointed out as she shuffled to the cupboard.

“You mind if I light a lamp?” Hondrik asked as he moved to where he knew she kept a lamp on a table in the corner.

As light filled the room Hondrik could see Hwem, in her faded brown linen dress, kneeling before the open cupboard staring into it.

“What’s the matter Hwem? You don’t look so good. Did I wake you up?” he asked.

“I don’t have any tea, I’m sorry. I guess I’m a liar too.” Hwem turned to look at him.

“Ouch,” he commented as he crossed the room and knelt beside her, “How did you cut the side the of your head?”

She reached up and touched the oozing gash as if feeling it for the first time. “I slipped,” she said, “I slipped while I was cleaning. I stood on that chair while I was cleaning.”

“Ohhh, let me look at that.” He said as he reached to pull her hair back away from the cut.

“Don’t touch me!” she shouted, jerking away from him and jumping to her feet.

“What?” Hondrik exclaimed, his hand still suspended in mid air where her head used to be. “I’m sorry about last night, really. I won’t bring that up ever again, ok? I’m not putting the moves on you here. I just want to look at that cut.”

“Fruthor,” she whispered, stepping away from Hondrik, her arms crossed tightly across her chest, her face turned to the floor.

“That’s why you’re moping about, Fruthor dumped you?” he questioned not expecting an answer. “Oh spare me. Like this wasn’t expected. Well I’m not going to listen to it this time. Reliable ole’ sucker Hondrik isn’t going to sit around for all the ‘boo-hoos’ and the ‘there-theres’ so that next week you can go out and find another b@stard to screw.”

Hondrik stood and walked to the door. “I’m just a convenience to you, someone to full in the spaces between sex partners. I can’t endure it any more. I have options now, so I don’t have to. You figure it out for yourself this time.” He pulled the door closed as he left.

Hwem remained standing, clutching herself in silence. After several minutes she knelt before the cupboard and reached into the back and retrieved a man’s shaving razor that she kept hidden from the world and hidden from herself.

She gathered the hem of her dress and pulled it above her waist. Extending her left leg, she pressed the razor against the skin of her inner thigh, just above the knee. She pulled the razor up her leg, across the labyrinth of old scar tissue from previous cuts, parting her flesh. She repeated this three times.

Dropping the razor, she sat and stared as blood flowed from the open wounds and whispered, “Take that, you wh0re.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Over here Yon.” Trina waved from a table against the wall.

“I thought The Pig and Whistle Tavern was too expensive for your tastes.” Yon said as he took the seat across from Trina and looked around the dining room.

“Its too expensive for my purse. But my taste has always loved it.” Trina said, “But today I got a windfall and decided to treat myself to lunch. Its your lucky day because I need a friend to dine with. So pick anything on the menu, my treat.”

“To what do you owe this windfall?” Yon asked.

“Evidently the gown I made for Her Ladyship was a big hit at her ball last night.” Trina explained, “She got so many compliments last night that she dispatched a courier, first thing this morning, to deliver to me twice my normal fee.”

“So the gown really looked good. Did you see yourself in it before you gave it over to her?” Yon asked.

“Hwem had it on while I was making the final adjustments. She looked fabulous in it.” Trina said, “I wish I could have given it to her.”

“That’s her name, Hwem. I saw her yesterday in town.” Yon exclaimed, “I couldn’t for the life of me remember her name. She was getting all emotional and spilling her guts while we were having lunch together. I can’t recall a thing she said because I was too busy rerunning the previous night’s conversations in my head trying to remember her name. You like her, huh? I bet you have the hots for her too.”

“Oh no, not your all-women-are-secretly-lesb1ans theory again.” Trina sighed, “Where do you come up with this stuff? You have never seen me intimate with another woman and yet every time I talk to one you accuse me of desiring her.”

“Its true though, isn’t it? You do want Hwem, don’t you?” Yon pushed.

“I’m sure that this belief that lesb1abism runs rampant through the female population was invented by men to enhance their fantasy of having two women at once.” Trina guessed, “However, I think that fantasy is rooted more in the desire to sleep than in sexual apatite. Most guys would love to be able to roll over and sleep after their brief contribution and let the two girls finish each other off.”

“The signs are everywhere. How often have you been to the art museum and seen women looking at the nude paintings and sculptures of other women?” Yon said, “How about that cobbler on Main Street that hires the young girls to pose and walk in front of his shop, modeling his shoes. Guys buy boots for utility, only women buy shoes for fashion, so obviously the attractive girls are there to lure women.”

“Both of those examples are about art not sex.” Trina explained, “The female form is the definition of beauty in any culture. The notion that women are beautiful is engrained in all of us, male and female, as soon as we start observing our world. Yes, I enjoy looking at the female nudes in the art museum because they are beautiful, not because I want to get my jollies.”

“I’m a dress makes, for crying out loud.” Trina continued, “I, of all people, should know what defines beauty. Men’s clothes are easy to make. All the clothes have to do for a man is make him look self confident and loaded. There is a formula for that and all the tailors use it, which is why there is no money in men’s fashion. Women’s clothing, on the other hand, is about attracting attention, about looking beautiful. Every woman is a work of art and her cosmetics, her hair, her dress, and her shoes are about enhancing that. I get paid to make women look uniquely beautiful. Take for example Her Ladyship. She has a husband, kids, a big mansion, and power. She could wear a burlap bag and folks would still line up to kiss her butt. However, she dresses beautifully, not to get men, but to get noticed in the most breathtaking way.”

“I still say you want to get into Hwem’s pants.” Yon grinned.

Trina smirked, “Oh shut up and order the fish.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“Ma’am? Are you ok?” a youngish looking elven man asked as he cautiously approached Hwem where she sat on the sidewalk in front of the stable doors.

Hwem looked up as she used the sleeve of her faded brown dress to wipe the tears from her eyes and then dragged it across her nose. “Yes,” she said between sniffles, “I just had to stop for a bit. I just went out to get some tea.”

The elf looked up at his friend, seated on a large cat waiting in the street. He made a slight gesture with his head toward Hwem and then followed it up with a ‘crazy’ face. His friend made no effort to suppress his laugh. “Ma’am, could we just get you to move a bit?” he asked, “We need to get into the stable.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” she whispered as she stood up and continued on her way.

“Ma’am, this is yours.” the elf called after her, picking up a tin of tea that was on the street where she had been seated.

“Thank you, you are very kind.” Hwem said as the young elf ran up to her and handed her the tin. “My good friend is coming over tonight and I promised him tea.”

“Here we are worried about the Horde,” the elf on the cat commented, “and right under our noses the bums and junkies are taking over our cities.”

[Archivist~Alabaster]

“You got an early start.” the gnome commented as he entered his blacksmith shop.

“I wanted to finally finish these iron door hinges.” Fruthor said as he held a glowing hinge over the anvil.

“What about Saturday night?” Grineal asked walking toward his desk in the back of the shop.

“I took your advice.” Fruthor said dropping the hinge into a water quench. “First thing yesterday morning I went to her to apologize. Turns out she really likes the rough stuff. She said it was the best sex she ever had. The only reason she threw me out was because I accidentally called her another woman’s name.”

“I see.” Grineal said with a tone of suspicion. “Well I have two things that need to be done this morning. There is a shipment of mithril bars in Goldshire that needs to be picked up and Captain Jeffex of the Stormwind Guard is coming over to discuss a special order. Which would you like to take care of?”

Grineal stared silently at Fruthor, who was busy comparing the hinge to a drawing. After several minutes the gnome said. “Why don’t you let me take the special order and you go spend the day in Goldshire.”

“No, I’ll meet with the guard.” Fruthor said with a forced casualness, “I’m the better smith, I always handle the special orders. You go to Goldshire.”

“If you’re certain then I’ll go ready the wagon.” Grineal said as he left to get the horses from the stable.

“You have fun and don’t get stuck in the Lion’s Pride.” Fruthor called after him.

An hour later, as Fruthor was finishing up the hinge order, Hondrik walked into the smith shop.

“Hey Fruthor.” Hondrik called to get his attention.

“What do you need?” Fruthor asked, startled by Hondrik’s appearance.

“I was just looking for you.” Hondrik said, looking about the shop as he walked toward Fruthor.

Fruthor, realizing that nobody else was in the shop, backed up slowly to his work bench. Reaching behind himself, out of sight of Hondrik, he grasped the handle of his blacksmith’s hammer.

“I talked to Hwem Saturday night. So I know all about it.” Hondrik said continuing to walk toward Fruthor.

“So what’s it to you?” Fruthor almost threatened.

“I suppose its really none of my business except that every time she has a breakup, she come whining to me.” Hondrik said, “But not this time. I’ve lost my patience with her and I’m tired of being her lap dog.”

“Breakup?” Fruthor puzzled.

“That’s not really what I came here about though. I need some advice. You have a minute?” Hondrik asked.

“Advice? About What?” Fruthor questioned, still clutching the hammer behind his back.

“The subject you know most about … women.” Hondrik said, “Do you have a minute? Is there some place we can talk?”

“We can talk here. What are you getting at?” Fruthor asked suspiciously.

“Tonight I’m headed to Dun Morogh. Tomorrow morning I’m meeting a lady friend.” Hondrik said, “ I am scared to death that I am going to screw this up. What should I do when I see her? I am at a complete loss.”

“Well then,” Fruthor said, relaxing and releasing his grip on the hammer handle, “you have come to the right person. For starters don’t wear anything that you have chosen. Do you have an outfit that a woman, other than your mother, has purchased for you or selected for you?”

“Hwem got me an outfit for a formal supper we went to once. I never wear it though. I feel too self-conscious wearing it.” Hondrik said.

“Perfect, wear that.” Fruthor instructed, “This may take awhile, have a seat. You want something to drink?”